Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
whose ass print is on the piano?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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