woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
