thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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