Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize