problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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