Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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