He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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