i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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