woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
