he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
