I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
