Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Michael Bay diarrhea
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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