PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
one two three fourrrrnication!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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