No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
