Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize