Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
