My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
