I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My feet surprised me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
