I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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