Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
