she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
