I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
