Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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