I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
