I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
