If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
