The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
