also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize