i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
