Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
