He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
