My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize