she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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