I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
