I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize