I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize