Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
