Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I FOUND THE LEGS
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
