Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
