3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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