Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
