Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
