Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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