No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
