hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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