i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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