We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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