When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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