As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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