I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
