FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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