i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
