Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
