You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
