You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
