Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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