Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
