I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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