Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
